Charlie and the Demon Tabby

Charlie here demonstrates the 'peace-loving puss' yoga position, one of her favourites. But don't be fooled: she also gets plenty of 'eyes-screwed-back-into-head' practice too, something she is grateful of today... Yes, after honing her punch-up skills on the feeble Swindon kitties for two years, her training is about to be put to some serious use.

I'm displeased to report that this afternoon saw Round One of the Newcourt Road Catfight Championships. She came up against the Demon Tabby in her very first match - a tough competitor by all accounts, and currently reigning champion.

It was a hard-fought match, with the Demon Tabby utilising the element of surprise by catching Charlie mid-toilet on his territory. Both competitors were extremely vocal, attracting unwanted attention from neighbours all over the village.

Still, several minutes in, the only injuries seemed to have been superficial, and Charlie called time by jumping through her own kitchen window.

Not to be shaken off that easily, the Demon Tabby leapt after her.

But the reigning champion had not accounted for a very angry self-employed writer, with nothing more pressing to do than yell at the Demon Tabby, which shortly proved too much for him. Both cats retired, pride severely damaged on both counts: Charlie with some fur loss and shaken, the Demon Tabby haughty in the face of a draw.

We aren't looking forward to the next round.